


Meet me in the afterglow

by hllfire



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Charles Xavier in a Wheelchair, Erik Is Trying, Fix-It, Hurt Charles Xavier, Hurt Erik Lehnsherr, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-X-Men: Days of Future Past, Relationship Issues, Some Fluff, Withdrawal Symptoms Mentioned, rated T just to be sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25720918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hllfire/pseuds/hllfire
Summary: Charles screamed again and again, louder with each second that passed as Erik only stood there, stern face hiding the feelings that he felt and the thoughts crossing his mind.X-Men: Days of Future Past fix-it where Erik stays and Charles is not in a good place.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 14
Kudos: 119





	Meet me in the afterglow

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to this fic! This is the product of many days of me in a bad place and needing something to let my bad feelings go. I wanted to post this because I still liked how it turned out after all, and maybe you guys will like it too! 
> 
> Enjoy ❤️

Charles screamed again and again, louder with each second that passed as Erik only stood there, stern face hiding the feelings that he felt and the thoughts crossing his mind. Charles had said before that he would never get inside Erik's mind again, had almost said it as a promise, and he kept his word even if deep down he wanted to dive inside the other man's mind to see if his words were hurting him as much as Charles wanted them to.

It was petty, he knew it, and yet Charles kept screaming harsh words that he had repeated again and again over the weeks that Erik had spent with him in the mansion after the whole problem with Trask and the sentinels. He sounded like a broken record, like those were the only words he could ever say at those moments where he was filled with rage, where he only saw the man who took so much from him, who hurt him physically and mentally, who turned on him on that beach and who turned on him in Paris and almost killed his sister in front of his eyes. And, as he screamed, Erik just  _ listened. _

Erik's lack of action seemed to make Charles' anger grow even more, specially because Charles expected conflict and yet he was met with an unwavering gaze and an offer for a game of chess after Charles' throat felt sore and his body was more relaxed, even if still a little tense. Charles usually accepted the chess game and the screaming and harsh words were followed by only silence and tension that slowly died down.

Erik had gone back with Charles after Washington, had given up on his plans and helped Charles to put an end to that mess, to convince Raven that killing Trask wasn't a good decision, as much as Charles felt that Erik's mind said otherwise. He was doing that for Charles, going against his own mindset  _ for Charles, _ and that confused the telepath for a second, deciding to ignore that for the time being so Raven would make the right decision and he could change the future that Logan had showed him. That was all that mattered at that moment.

Erik had helped bring Charles home, to Hank's displeasure, and had stayed with the condition that he wouldn't leave the house — he was still a wanted man after all, and Charles had promised he would try and fix his situation for him. But, even if Erik seemed genuinely trying to help, Charles was still bitter about so much that they seemed to refuse to talk about. He was still bitter with Erik and with himself, was still trying to find peace of mind now that his telepathy was back and his legs didn't work anymore; the abstinence that he was going through since he wasn't taking the serum anymore didn't help at all, making Charles even more irritable. Some days he wondered of he shouldn't just take it already, just so he could walk again and block Hank's and Erik's minds from himself, as well as not looking at stairs and finding them repugnant. Usually it would be Erik who would tell him not to do it, to go through with his promise of getting rid of the drug for real, and sometimes Charles listened. Most times Charles screamed.

Everything in Charles life at the moment seemed to combine, and Charles found himself irritable most of the days, which often resulted on the scene that developed there: Charles and Erik in the kitchen, Charles screaming his lungs out with his face red from anger and knuckles white from grabbing the armrest of his wheelchair as Erik only stared at him and took it all as if it almost didn't matter.

When the screaming finally stopped, Charles had tears in the corners of his eyes and his throat felt awful, his voice even failing a few times at the end of his one way fighting as his vocal chords started to take the strain of screaming so much and for so long. He moved his fingers to touch his throat for a moment, eyes moving away from Erik as he did so, his face still showing that the anger hadn't fully left yet. Erik only stared for a moment longer before sighing — the same thing he always did whenever that would happen — and turning to the stove to put the kettle on the fire, looking for something on the kitchen cabinets. Charles didn't mind Erik's movements, eyes still avoiding the other man until, after a while, a steaming mug with a tea bag inside of it was placed in front of him on the table. Charles stared for a moment at the mug before raising his eyes to Erik. 

"For your throat." the other man said, voice calm and collected, even if Charles could catch some kind of strain in those words.

Charles drank the whole tea, face softening after a few sips, and soon the conversation was calm, as if nothing at all had happened.

The next day, it happened again. Charles was screaming, voice echoing through the living area where they were both sitting with a chess board between them, and Erik only listened. Charles repeated the same accusations, the same curses and bitter words until there was no air left in his lungs and his voice broke. Erik stared. In the end, they resumed their game and Erik helped Charles with some chores around the house.

The next day, there was another one way fight. And so did the day after that, and the day after that; on and on and  _ on, _ as a routine, until one day it didn't happen. Charles and Erik were together at the gardens of the mansion enjoying a specially sunny day so they both could get some sunlight on their skin — Charles looked paler than normal after secluding himself for so long inside the house, and Hank kept advising him to get out a little — and Erik said something by accident that normally would start Charles' screams at any given day. For a moment, Erik winced, as if he knew what was coming, but nothing happened. Charles only stared at the trees in the garden and hummed, almost dismissively. He could tell that Erik thought that maybe Charles didn't listen to what he said, but quickly proved him wrong by answering his words calmly. For the first time, Erik had a reaction to Charles' words, eyes widening slightly and lips parting, even if only for a moment, before he went back to his stern expression. 

Later that day, Erik helped Charles shave with a straight razor, both of them inside Charles' bathroom as Erik sat on the border of his bathtub and Charles was in front of him, a towel carefully placed on his front to catch the hairs that fell from his face. Charles was the one who asked for help, saying that he wasn't exactly the best at shaving with that razor, specially now that his beard was longer than what he would usually allow it to grow and that his hands were still shaking from the withdrawal of the serum — as much as he hated to think of it as withdrawal. He argued that didn't really want to go to a barber to get it shaved, leaving the house was not an option for him yet, so Erik was careful, and Charles could feel that he was using his powers as well as his hands as he shaved Charles' face, grey eyes focused on getting the job done as Charles' blue ones stayed on Erik's face the whole time. It was peaceful and more domestic than they had been in the weeks that they lived together under the same roof.

"You don't react to my screams." Charles said after a while, noticing Erik's lips turn into a thin line for a moment before he composed himself.

"Charles, don't talk. I have a razor over your face right now."

"You won't hurt me." Charles said, voice confident of his words as he kept staring at the other man.

"I have hurt you before, as you said many times these past few weeks." Erik's words seemed distant, as if he didn't really care about them and his concentration was still on the razor, but Charles could hear the slight hurt behind them, mind flaring up with it in a way that Charles couldn't ignore. So his words  _ did _ hurt Erik.

"You have." Charles' voice was soft now as he raised his hand to touch Erik's and stop him from continuing the shave. Erik finally looked up at Charles' eyes, uncertain. "And I keep hurting you back in return."

There was a moment of silence there as they stared at each other as if their looks were enough to show everything that they were thinking since Charles had not made a connection between them. Erik carefully made the razor float away from Charles' face, an effort not to hurt the telepath, making Charles smile — the first seemingly real one in weeks, even if it still looked sad.

"I don't want to fight you. Not anymore." Erik said, his voice strained and his lips pursing for a second as he confessed it. "That's why I don't react. And if it means you get to lay your anger on me, so be it. I'm tired."

"I'm sorry."

And Charles was. He could feel the shift of his emotions as the days went, as it became easier for him to deal with himself and his demons, and how the anger now was turning into regret, even if not all of it subsided. He had lashed out at Erik, hadn't controlled his emotions, and Erik took it because he didn't want to fight, he just wanted to stay there, with Charles, after everything. And Charles had hurt him from day one, had taken any chance he was given to throw knives at Erik even when he didn't deserve it.

He knew nothing could justify how he acted. He could try to blame their past or the withdrawal as much as he wanted, but those words had left his mouth over and over again, just waiting for the next moment he would be able to throw them at Erik because he  _ wanted _ to hurt the other man, and it was wrong but it was everything he could do to quench that anger. And he was sorry, he didn't want to fight anymore, to scream until his voice gave out, to hit the same sore spot over and over again, never allowing it to heal. He just wanted peace now, to try and get himself back together, to heal. To look at Erik and see a friend again, see the lover he lost over a decade ago. He didn't want to lose Erik again because he couldn't stop hitting both their wounds, opening them over and over again. Erik was there because of him. Was still there after everything. That was enough to make Charles believe he could have him back.

The hand that was holding Erik's hand now was being held back, Erik's thumb rubbing against Charles' skin in a soft touch that carried more emotions than his words could.

"I know." Erik answered back after a while, grey eyes watching their hands together, clouded with doubt and weariness. "We should try starting again."

"No." Erik raised his eyes at that, seeing Charles sigh. "Both you and I know we can't just leave stuff behind and start again. Not with everything that happened, not when I'm still mad at somethings and you're holding back harsher feelings towards me as well."

Erik stared at him for a moment more, grey skies meeting blue oceans as their eyes met, and something inside Erik's eyes showed Charles that Erik knew he was right. He didn't like the idea, much like Charles, but he knew the telepath had a point.

"Then we pick up where we left. Try to do things better." Erik finally said, bringing a small smile to Charles' lips. "And we talk."

"We talk." Charles agreed, holding Erik's hand a little tighter.

"But not now." it was Erik's turn to smile, calm and secretive, a smile Charles only got the chance of seeing a few times. He found out it felt good to see it again. "Stay quiet as I finish shaving you."

The next day, there were no screams, only calm and painful words over a game of chess as they tried to talk for the first time in years. The day after that, the house was still calm, even Hank wondering what had happened for things to change.

Slowly, they talked about everything, without Charles' screams, without Erik's silence, only talking, and the anger and hurt slowly faded away until the wounds finally closed, until they finally were able to pick up where they left before Cuba. And Charles felt happy for the first time in a while, like a piece of himself had been put back into place, and he knew now after being able to be in Erik's mind again — permission given after months of them building up their relationship again — that Erik felt the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kuddos are always appreciated! ❤️
> 
> Find me on [tumblr!](https://hellfre.tumblr.com/)


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